welcome

It doesn’t matter if your child is a

newborn or in college, every day is an adventure for parents. Every day brings new challenges, adjustments and discoveries for parents AND their children.

No matter how much we think we’re prepared to be a parent, we really don’t learn about kids until we have kids. We don’t know much about 2 year olds until our oldest child turns 2 We learn about school-aged children when our oldest child starts school. We don’t learn about teenagers till our oldest blows out the 13th candle on his cake.

We worry when they cross the street alone - the first time, and every time after that. We worry when they start kindergarten. We worry when they start middle school and high school. We worry when they have a big test.
We fret when they start to drive.

We just start to get good at this parenting stuff - and then our kids move out and leave an empty room. And just when we clean their room and get used to them being gone, they come home for a short stay, with all their stuff and they make a big mess. And just when we start to enjoy having them home, mess and all, - POOF, they’re gone again.

In order to be a competent parent, we rely on books, experts and unsolicited advice. Much of what we see and hear often makes us feel less than qualified to be a parent.

Happily there are people in the world whose message is “You are a good parent. You’re better than you think you are.” We just have to learn to listen to these people.

Parents have to tune in to those people who like children and think that kids can figure out how to become caring, respectful and loving adults because that desire is already inside of them. Parents have to pay attention to the voices that remind us that our kids are good kids because we’re their parents.

Parents have to reject the opinions of those who think that children are horrible and that parenting is a chore. Parents have to find those people in the world who think that kids are fun and remind us that parents are funny and silly sometimes.

Parents have to surround themselves with people who help us be the kind of people our children will respect. I have a long list of friends who have taken the time to help me when I needed help. Here are a few other favorite people who like children AND parents: Erma Bombeck, Anna Quindlen, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, Jim Fay & Foster Cline, Love & Logic Institute, Mr. Rogers, Captain Kangaroo, and Dr. Seuss.

We live in a world in which people are trying to figure out how to “accommodate children with special needs”. Unfortunately, they care more about a child’s clinical diagnosis, than the child’s name and interests.

Luckily there are people in the world who believe that all children are entitled to a good life, an education, dreams, and the opportunity to play with friends. After all, the only thing that really matters to children is that they are loved, cared for and valued.

If you want to take a parenting class, find one that gives you time to think about the goals you have for your family. The test to whether a parenting class is any good is, if when it’s over, you are proud of yourself because you feel like you’re doing most things right. The class should help you realize that you may have a few things to work on, but that you can make life better for you and your children. A good parenting class should fill

you with hope, not fear. The certificate you receive in a parenting class should be for Excellence and Perfect Attendance, “This award is presented to a parent, who gets up every morning and takes care of his/her children to the best of his/her ability and in recognition of accomplishments for exceeding expectations.”

If you want to meet an expert about parenting Your children, look in the mirror. Re-introduce yourself to the person who loves your children more than anything in the whole world.

If you want to read a great parenting book, get out your family’s photo albums, and look, really look into the faces of your children. Everything you need to know about your kids, is right there in those eyes. Better yet, the next time you’re at the dinner table, stare at them - no talking, no bossing, no lectures. No talking, just staring AND smiling. Your kids won’ t know what you’re up to.

Here’s my Recipe for a Happy & Healthy Family:
Have a Snack. Take a Nap. Be Nice to Each Other.

Debra Madonna, February 6, 2005
Copyright © 2004 - 06, D Madonna